Here is a list of the day’s most searched topics according to google. I will comment on them as I see fit. If you don’t agree with my commenting, please write a letter listing your concerns and then promptly stick it into your rear.

#1 ashley greene scandal pictures
Good show people. I’m glad that you have your priorities in order. I know that as soon as I hear some new starlet has new nekkid pics on the web, I too have my afternoon planned.

#2 meteor shower august 2009
meh

#3 health care reform bill
It’s probably a good idea to find out what this health reform is all about but I can’t concentrate right now. I just found out that ashley greene’s lawyers have made everyone take down the scandal pictures that are the hot topic #1. Bunch a’ jerks. I hope they get caught in the meteor shower listed in hot topic #2.

#4 party in the u.s.a lyrics
Seriously!? The new miley cyrus song? (and don’t ask me why I know that, it’s a long story and it only slightly involves rug burn, three hamsters and a new amendment to megan’s law) But again, seriously?

#5 hr 3200 bill
Um. I’m not sure what this is. I’m assuming it has something to do with someone in human resources finding a three thousand, two hundred dollar bill laying on the floor somewhere in the vicinity of their offices. If no one claims it, I’m pretty sure that it fell out of my pocket while I was dancing to the new miley cyrus song “party in the u.s.a.” on my ipod. On a side note has anyone seen three hamsters?

Bonus hot topic…

#14 vanessa hudgens leaked photo
Heh. This is the second time that this chic has nudie photos leaked of her on the web. She clearly wants attention from somebody. I will gladly give it to her. I just hope that ashley greene’s lawyers don’t recover too quickly from their massive meteor wounds to ruin this spankfest too. I mean crisco can only be left out so long before you have to use it. Am I right people or what?

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